


What This Feeling is Like

by TylerM



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec and Jace getting hurt and being idiots about it, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bonding, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hurt Jace Wayland, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Alec Lightwood, M/M, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Sibling Bonding, Sick Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:21:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16491611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TylerM/pseuds/TylerM
Summary: “You thought you could hide a stab wound from me?” Alec grits out menacingly. He could literally kill his Parabatai right now.Alec is in agony so Jace must be using all his control to stay vertical right now.Jace looks sheepish, he really does but he also looks part impressed and confused, “How did you know?”Alec will throttle him.“How did I - How did I know? Why is that important! You’ve been stabbed! Jesus Christ Jace!” Alec wants to yell and scream at him and tell him off for being so stupid and asking stupid questions.-/-/-/-A story where we take a look into the Parabatai bond between Alec and Jace, and a few moments where the bond is strong because they think they're tough.Just an excuse to write about Parabatai feels between these two really.





	What This Feeling is Like

**Author's Note:**

> This doesn't exactly follow the time line of either the show or the series, but it tries to stay somewhat where it should. I couldn't remember at what age everything happens, so I've just gone with it, try to be flexible for the sake of this story. I wrote this after reading 'Son of the Dawn' from the Ghosts of the Shadow Hunter Market, which is a short story where 10 year old Jace meets the Lightwoods (clip notes, he gets hurt and doesn't tell anyone). You don't need to have read it for this to make sense, but this is what inspired this story. It's basically another sick fic, so no surprises there.  
> Just a fluffy story about the bond Jace and Alec share as Parabatai, I think it's cute and these two absolutely tried to hide injuries from each other. I have no doubt. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Leave me a buzz if you did :)

**When Jace was 10,**

Alec wasn’t sure about the boy their parents brought home one day. He was sort of cocky and annoying, a bit stuck up and didn’t seem to have any sort of knowledge on how to interact with people. Kids his own age _or_ the grownups around them. He was always saying these weird self-deprecating things, but in a normal tone of voice like it was a fact rather then an opinion. The things Jace said his father had said to him, if Alecs dad had said any of that to him he thinks his Mom would have a fit. _He_ would probably burst into tears. Jace says it like it’s a fact though, like its completely normal for his Father to often joke about having another Johnathan if he wasn’t good enough or getting injured while fighting was he’s own fault because he was incompetent.

Alec was pretty awkward on his own if he’s being honest, he often gets shy and uncomfortable around strangers, and sometimes even people he knows. He’s not like Izzy, who can just talk to anyone happily and make friends. Or decide within seconds if she doesn’t think someone is worth her time. It takes Alec a while to get used to people, and even then, he’s still kind of weird with them.

Coupled with Jace’s inability to be a normal social 10-year-old and hold normal conversations that aren’t about fighting and weapons, Alec found it kind of hard after that first night to find common ground with the boy.

Sure, he was still kind of in awe of him. In disbelief that anyone was that good of a fighter at their age, and even more confused when he’d been hurt and didn’t tell anyone. Alec couldn’t quite understand that, it seemed like he didn’t want help. But not because he didn’t actually need it or want it, he surely needed it and Alec could tell when he was bandaging it up he wanted it. But because he thought he wasn’t allowed it, or they would be mad at him and throw him out.

Alec was still wrapping his head around the enigma that is Jace Wayland.

They’re friends now though. Granted it’s still a bit weird, Jace still doesn’t know how to hold a normal 10 year old conversation and Alec’s still awkward, but he thinks he can call Jace his friend. They train together, make fun of Isabelle together, they even watch mundane cartoons about cars that transform into robots sometimes. Alec thinks they’re friends.

“Is that all you’ve got? Really?” Jace says smugly, holding Alec in a choke hold that isn’t tight enough to actually hurt him, but tight enough not to get out of. Alec rolls his eyes because they’re supposed to be sparring, but Jace always has to talk through it. It annoyed him at first, but he’s getting used to it.

“Course not Wayland,” Alec says equally as confidently but when he tries to throw Jace off he’s unsuccessful.

“You yield?” The cockiness is so evident in the boys voice Alec would very much like to clock him.

“Mom will be mad if you she finds you like this,” Izzy says reasonably from the corner where she’s practicing with her whip. She says it pretty indifferently though, like she doesn’t actually care.

Alec doesn’t think their Mom will mind too much anyway, they’re supposed to be training so technically they aren’t doing anything wrong. They were supposed to be sensible though, and not hurt each other.

“She’ll be mad because Alec is being a wuss – oh shit!”

Jace doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, because Alec uses all his weight to throw Jace off and pin him down, so now their roles are reversed, and Alec is looking down at him smugly.

Jace thrashes for a moment, but looks up at Alec impressed, “Touché.”

The older rolls his eyes good naturedly and moves off the blonde, reaching a hand to help him which Jace takes gratefully.

“Man I’m hungry,” Jace exclaims.

“I think Mom made biscuits for Max, they’re in the kitchen,” Izzy says although makes no move to leave.

Jace turns to him, “Race you there?”

Everything’s a competition with that boy.

Alec doesn’t reply though, because he’s looking at Jace contemplatively. Eyeing him down, because something’s wrong. He doesn’t know what exactly, but the way Jace stood up. It was calculated and slower then usual, like he was deliberately trying to make his movements not jittered, and he’s favoring his right leg. Putting too much pressure on it with a smile too big that if Alec didn’t know better he’d assume nothing is wrong.

Alec _does_ know better though. And something is wrong.

“You’re hurt,” Alec says, crossing his arms over his chest appearing determine.

“What?” Jace asks confused. Truly good enough to fool most people, but Alec has been spending almost every waking moment with this boy for a month. He’s not fooled.

“What happened? Your leg,” He gestures to Jace’s left leg and the boy takes an instinctive step back, he doesn’t show any sign of being hurt though and for a second Alec thinks maybe he was wrong.

“Nothing,” Jace says easily, “Don’t be ridiculous Lightwood.”

Alec narrows his eyes at the boy, and Jace just stares back at him. He’s stubborn, for a 10-year-old. But Alec can be stubborn too.

After a few moments of them just staring at each other, Izzy has had enough and interjects, “I think he probably just sprained it about half way through sparring. He’s putting too much pressure on his right to compensate and he hissed when he stood up, but Alec didn’t see it. Some ice and rest will do it.”

She hasn’t taken her eyes off her whip and Alec is impressed. When Alec looks at Jace he’s scowling at her, but Alec can see past it. The same hint of fear that was in his eyes the night he came home and they found him in the kitchen nursing the wound.

Alec sighs and looks to the celling for someone somewhere to give him strength to deal with Jace Wayland.

“Come on,” Alec says, “Lets go find those biscuits.”

Jace doesn’t move and looks like he’s going to start complaining or stropping, _or both_. But Alec just walks away from him to the kitchen, so Jace has no option but to follow.

Alec finds the sweets easily and takes one for himself and hands one to Jace when he walks in. They haven’t said anything yet, the silence becoming oppressing for Jace. While Alec has no issues being quiet he knows it will be killing Jace.

He goes to the fridge and pulls out a bag of frozen peas and wraps it in a hand towel. He turns to Jace who is looking at him wearily, just holding the biscuit and turning it between his fingers. Alec can tell he’s trying to look stoic, but by the looks of it the pain of putting pressure on his ankle is getting to him.

Alec gestures to the dining table and pulls out a chair, he gets Jace to sit on one and plonks down in the one next to him.

“Does it hurt?” Alec asks as he reaches for Jace’s ankle hesitantly.

Jace flinches at first, unsure about the contact. But when Alec is gentle he allows the boy to tug it up and rest his foot in his lap, putting the frozen peas on where they can both see it’s swollen a little.

Jace doesn’t answer the question, just shrugs and nibbles on his biscuit.

“You could have said something,”

Jace shrugs again, “How did you know?”

Alec thinks about this for a second, while adjusting the peas on the youngers leg, because honestly, he’s not entirely sure. He knew something was wrong the moment they got up. Something about the boy’s movements and facial expressions, but it wasn’t anything big he could narrow down.

“It’s not like you’re my Parabatai or something,” Jace says indifferently.

Alec cocks his head up questionably.

“Like, they always know when the other is hurt. That’s what someone told me,” He trails off.

Alec contemplates this. Whenever the other boy talks about Parabatai it’s never as indifferent as he thinks it is.

Maybe Alec is going to have to become Parabatai with this boy, just so he knows whenever his injured.

 

**When Jace was 14,**

Since Jace Wayland moved in with the Lightwoods he has made Alec’s life innately different, that’s for sure. He loves Jace don’t get him wrong, he is his best friend, main conspirator and Parabatai. He loves Jace honestly, he would die and kill for him.

However, mainly Jace has tested Alec’s patience, sanity and stability _every single god damn_ day since moving in. And especially after becoming Parabatai.

Becoming bonded with Jace was something he wanted to do, he trusts the boy with his life and when they fight together it’s perfectly in sync, it makes them both stronger. Plus, he generally enjoys Jace as a person, they’re best friends.

If bonding with Jace however means he can also keep a closer eye on the blonde, know when somethings wrong and gives him that extra insight into protecting his Parabatai, well it was an added bonus. He knew Jace was pretty flippant and guarded about his health, but it wasn’t until today he realized how far deep and distinctively stupid his self-preservations skills went. Like holy hell Alec could kill him right now.

They’d been fighting a demon, something they’d only just been allowed to do and they’d becoming quite good at. This one didn’t seem much more difficult than usual, but during the battle the demon had knocked down Isabelle and Jace has charged head first at him. Alec had then quickly gotten his cross bow to get the demon in the head, while Jace came down on it with his sword to finish him off.

It hadn’t been a close call, but it had been the closest they’d come so far.

Alec knelt next to Isabelle as she reached for his hand to steady herself. She looked worn, but Alec couldn’t see any visible injuries.

“You okay? Did you get hurt?”

He watches carefully as she checks herself over, as she stands she looks to her knee where her black pants have been torn and she has a small cut on her knee.

“Ugh my new Jeans,” Isabelle whines and Alec smiles at her. Its superficial and not dangerous, and Alec trusts her when she tells him she’s fine.

Isabelle he trusts.

He looks over at Jace who is walking slowly towards them, cleaning his sword on his leg. He looks his Parabatai over, he’s covered in blood from the demon, is hair is messy and his jeans are torn, he looks okay considering from a distance. But Alec feels wrong. Very wrong.

He feels hot and cold all of a sudden, a shooting pain waves over him quickly before it disappears. He doesn’t know what’s wrong, the flashes of pain and sorrow wash over him and then disappear immediately, he has to use all his strength to stand up. Something is wrong, he’s never felt like this before.

He looks over Jace again frowning, he looks fine.

“Are you hurt?” Alec asks before Jace can say anything.

Jace shakes his head in his determinedly Jace way and Alec feels that wave of hurt over come him again, this time he almost cries out.

“You’re hurt,” He says through gritted teeth as Jace approaches them and the boy just looks confused.

Before he can protest, like Alec knows he will, he’s probing his Parabatai looking for where he’s been injured. Alec doesn’t know what’s wrong or what happened, but if he feels like this he can’t imagine how Jace feels. He wants to throttle the boy for being so stupid and careless. Jace tries to step away and bat the boys hands away annoyed but Alec refuses as he clasps his arm holding him still.

“Alec!” Jaces cries out indignity and Alec ignores him. He lifts up Jace’s shirt and finds the culprit. A big, red, oozing wound coming from his side.

Jace has been stabbed.

“You thought you could hide a stab wound from me?” Alec grits out menacingly. He could literally kill his Parabatai right now, why on earth did he think he could hide that.

Alec is in agony so Jace must be using all his control to stay vertical right now.

Jace looks sheepish, he really does but he also looks part impressed and confused, “How did you know?”

Alec will throttle him.

“How did I - How did I know? Why is that important! You’ve been stabbed! Jesus Christ Jace!” Alec wants to yell and scream at him and tell him off for being so stupid and asking stupid questions.

This time Jace looks only sheepishly and allows the hurt to appear on his face, maybe because he can no longer hide how much it hurts and maybe because he wants Alec to stop yelling at him.

“Okay sorry, lets go back home,” Jace puts his hands up defensively and finally someone’s speaking sense.

“Izzy get his sword, come on idiot,” Alec grits out orders and he grips Jace by the shoulders and helps him stay upright. They don’t talk all the way back to the institute, but occasionally Jace grits out in pain and if Alec was a meaner person he would say Jace deservers it for trying to hide it.

But he isn’t, and he’s really worried about the stupid boy.

Isabelle gives them sly knowing smirks like she knows something they don’t, so Alec just keeps ignoring her.

When they get back Alec takes Jace straight up to the infirmary and Isabelle follows. He dumps Jace on a bed roughly and starts to get things together to patch him up.

When his back is turned he can hear Jace and Isabelle whispering together but he can’t make it out. Its not often those two converse behind his back, but that being said they do have a bond that has always been quite close. Usually they conspire together to gang up on him, usually to pull a prank or get him in trouble, but they’ve been known to band together when needed. Isabelle can be soft with her brothers, something separate from the world around them, something she’d never show anyone else. She’s probably worried about him, making sure he’s okay and lightly making fun on him for trying to hide it.

When Alec strolls back over to the bed, his best indifferent look on his face Isabelle smirks at him, totally trying to undermine his authority, “Don’t be too harsh on the lump big brother,”

She gives both of them a kiss on the cheek and leaves to go report to Mom and Dad. Alec just hopes she’ll gloss over the stab wound, for now.

Alec doesn’t look at him when he starts treating the wound with antiseptic. It’s not bad, to be fair. It’s not deep and its superficial, but it must hurt like crazy. And that’s really not the point. The point is Jace didn’t say anything, but _Alec had felt it._

This has never happened before, mainly because neither of them have gotten hurt on a mission like this before. Alec didn’t realize how strong the bond was.

“I’m sorry for getting stabbed,” Jace says suddenly and Alec stops to look at him. Jace gives him his best sullen smile and his blonde hair falls into his eyes so he shakes it away.

Alec grits and keeps bandaging him up, “It’s not your fault you got stabbed.”

He hears Jace sigh, because they both know why Alec is mad, and its not because he got stabbed. It’s because he didn’t say anything, because Jace never says anything. But they’re Parabatai now, they need to look out for each other and they know without telling.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything,” Jace apologizes.

Alecs hands hover over the new bandage and doesn’t look Jace in the eyes, he’s still bleeding so it will need to be changed regularly for the next couple of hours.

“I could feel it,” Alec starts, “It must have hurt.”

“It wasn’t that bad,”

Alec looks at him with all eyebrows and Jace flattens a bit.

“It was,” Alec counters, “I could feel it.”

There silent for a few moments, each contemplating the day and the consequences this brings.

“Guess I can’t hide anything from you anymore,” Jace jokes weakly and Alec rolls his eyes fondly this time.

Now that Jace is fine, in bed where he can’t lie about being stabbed Alec is feeling calmer. Now he just wants the day to end. He pushes Jace a little and he makes room on the bed, Alec lies down next to him. Close together he can feel his Parabatai’s heartbeat, feel they rhythm of his breathing. It’s calming him down. He didn’t realize how stressed and how worried he was until now.

“No, guess you can’t,” Alec replies softly.

Alec doesn’t remember falling asleep. But he remembers being woken up abruptly to his Mom yelling at Jace for not telling them he was hurt. He thinks he deserves it.

 

**When Jace was 15**

It’s not until a while later where the roles are reversed and Jace ever has to feel physical pain because of Alec. It’s not because Alex is genuinely more careful then Jace, even though he is. It’s mainly because Alec is a particularly good fighter who spends a lot of it at a distance with a crossbow, less opportunity for being stabbed that way.

It does happen, and Jace finally realizes why Alec has been so mad at him for all those years. Being Parabatai with Alec is interesting, because Alec feels a range of emotions but Jace only really feels it when his seriously annoyed or frustrated with someone. Which happens far more often then it should.

Usually then he’ll remove Alec from the situation, he always knows when to remove the elder from certain people when he can feel the vein in the back of his neck start to burst. Alec has little patience for people outside his family, and Jace usually knows the trick to remove him and calm him down. Sometimes Isabelle will tag along, helping ease Alec back into reality. And sometimes he can feel her making it worse, so they’ve patterned down to a secret code to help out the eldest Lightwood.

Alec does so much for everyone, he took on the role of caregiver/big brother and he looks after those around him fiercely.

Jace isn’t sure he realizes how they do it in return though. They have to be sort of sneaky about it or he’ll resist and back away. It’s just another day in the Lightwood house hold, the three of them always having each other’s backs.

Jace is at the institute monitoring the cameras while Alec and Isabella are out on patrol when he feels something. He’d been grounded by Maryse because he was getting over a cold, and even though he was completely fine she’d insisted he stay back and be on watch, while letting Alec and Isabelle handle it. Jace hated more then anything the idea of Alec fighting without him, they were stronger together, they were supposed to do it together. But Alec had insisted he’d be fine with Izzy and one more night of rest wouldn’t kill him. When Alec gave him that look, the one that looks into his soul and knows him Jace has trouble fighting back.

Jace wishes he’d trusted his instinct.

He feels it suddenly, something is wrong. His whole-body hurts and he feels like he might throw up. He’s never felt their bond this intensely, but something is seriously wrong. It’s like he can feel it in his bones. He doesn’t know what to do because it hurts, and he knows something is wrong but he doesn’t even know where they are.

“Jace are you okay?” Maryse is the one that comes up to him, kneeling beside him on the chair and checking him over for some kind of injury. He’s always prone to them and he’s pretty used to the Lightwoods invading his space to check over him because he isn’t always forthcoming with the information. It’s always a bit weird when it’s Maryse though, he’s not used to having a mother, someone who cares about him just because she’s supposed to. He knows how lucky he is she allowed him into her home like this, and simply accepted him like her own. Even 5 years later though he struggles with her dotting and coddling, he’s not embarrassed about it the way Alec is. He just doesn’t know what to do with it. It’s not something he thinks he’ll ever get used to.

“It’s not me,” Jace says and by the look on Maryse’s face she understands. She grasps his hand firmly in hers while she takes out her phone to see if she can call either of her children or someone who can look for them.

They don’t sit there longer then 5 minutes with Jace in pain before they hear the doors of the institution open and in straggles Isabelle and Alec, Isabelle holding the much taller boy upright. Maryse quickly runs down to them and takes Alec in her arms.

“What happened? Where are you injured? Jace could feel it,” She goes about quickly before Alec groans and tries to remove himself from her grasp.

Alec is getting tall now, he’s already taller then her and will probably continue to grow but she’s ruthless as ever. Izzy rolls her eyes from where she’s helping Alec stand, almost being crushed by his weight.

“I’m okay, I got done in by a demon, I’ll be fine.” Alec says. He doesn’t lie about it the way Jace would, doesn’t say he isn’t hurt or that he is fine. He tells the truth. But he still manages to comfort those around him, because right now he isn’t okay, but he will be.

There’s blood dripping from his leg and right arm, he looks woozy on his feet and his jeans are torn to shreds where something has clearly tried to take an actual chunk from him. He looks bad, like he might pass out any second, but he’s alive. And that’s all that really matters to Jace.

Jace rushes over towards him and pulls him into a fierce hug that Alec accepts easily. Jace isn’t sure if its because he’s feeling the same relief of being close to his Parabatai or because he’s using the blonde to stand upright. But Jace doesn’t care. He just grips the older boy so tightly he thinks he’ll leave bruises.

“I’m okay,” Alec whispers into the boys neck, holding on equally as tightly.

Jace doesn’t say anything though, because he wouldn’t admit in a thousand years how truly scared he had been. The pain and the wrongness hadn’t felt like anything before and for a second he thought he may have lost the person in the world he cares most about. The thought alone was gut wrenching and his not sure he would come back from something like that.

Alec is, Alec. He is his everything, he can’t lose him. He won’t.

He listens to Alecs slow and shaky breathes and feels his heartbeat through his chest. Reminding him that Alec is here, Alec is okay. He feels the boys hands on his back, holding him tightly and squeezes his eyes shut taking in his scent. Alec is safe he repeats to himself.

Alec is alive.

He doesn’t let go for another moment, taking a few more seconds to ground himself and let himself be reminded that it’s going to be okay.

Slowly Jace pulls away from him, checking over his features and realizing that if they don’t do something soon the boy is going to pass out. He flushes slightly, coming back to reality and realizing his been hugging the older boy almost crying in front of a lot of people who have just let him.

“I’m okay,” Alec repeats, like he understands. And Jace thinks maybe he does. That the rune between them has connected them together in a way that Alec understands how Jace is feeling, how strongly the bond between them runs that the relief of Alec being okay is coursing through his own body in an understanding.

Jace nods, trying to appear indifferent about it but he knows he fails, “Come on. Lets get you patched up.”

Alex nods, and uses Jace’s weight to help him to the infirmary. Jace helps him onto a bed, and with one last nod moves to the side to let the healers take over. He stands by the door, out of the way but he can’t get make himself leave.

People come in and out and he watches them patch up Alec who is surprisingly quiet throughout the ordeal. Usually Alec barks orders at people and complains when they don’t do it right, but he’s letting these people fix him without complaint. That alone causes Jace more worry, he knows how serious this must be.  A bit later Robert joins him, checking in on Alec and clasps the blondes shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Jace is startled by the question because he really should be asking Alec that not him.

When he doesn’t answer Robert sighs knowingly, “I had a Parabatai once too,”

Suddenly Jace understands, “I’m okay if Alec is okay.”

Robert gives him a small smile, and goes over to his son. Jace watches as they converse quietly, and then Robert turns to leave, but not before patting him on the shoulder comfortingly.

Jace has full intention to just stand there and wait, but suddenly he catches Alec’s eye as he stares at him and rolls his eyes, motioning him over. He wants to resist and just stand there, but he caves and makes his way over to the older boy. Easily he shuffles his way on the bed, and sits next to Alec over the covers who has been bullied into bed and given strong meds to help him sleep. Even with a healing rune it will be a process and it’s better if his asleep for that.

Alec rests his head against Jaces arm and Jace allows the comfort. Allows Alec’s heartbeat to reassure him that the boy beside him is okay, and breathing. And that’s all that matters. Jace sits there, wide awake for hours as Alec falls into a restless sleep. Nobody tells him to move, and when Maryse checks on Alec later she just smiles and gives them both a kiss on the forehead.

Jace doesn’t let Alec out his sight for the next few days, following him around everywhere like a lost puppy, although he’ll claim it’s much tougher then that. Besides, he just genuinely _needs_ Alec for things, like he needs help with this report and he needs the elder’s opinion on this new sword he wants to try. It’s not following him around if it’s justified.

On the third day, when Jace finds an excuse to follow Alec to the infirmary for his checkup claiming he’s thinking about painting his bedroom what colour should it be? Well Alec doesn’t sigh, and he doesn’t question him.

He just goes with it.

 

**When Jace was 18,**

If Alec could get rid of everyone in this room right now he would, without hesitation. He would easily kick all of them out of the institute and exile them into the cold if he had that authority.

He wonders if acting head of the institute _does_ have that kind of power. No, probably not he thinks. His Mom probably wouldn’t like that.

Magnus can stay of course. He wouldn’t exile him. And Isabelle, she hasn’t really done anything wrong. And maybe Jace, maybe. His been on his nerves a little lately but he supposes as of late he hasn’t done anything completely dangerous.

He’ll kick out Clary and the vampire though.

_Those two._

Alec sighs loudly hoping they’ll hear his annoyed exhale of air as Clary, Simon and Magnus argue about the best way to go about looking for Luke. They’ve been doing this for hours. Literal hours, they’ve gone over the danger, mulled over the variables, and still no one has come to a conclusion yet.

It’s been hours, and Alec is done. He’s tried, hungry and his head hurts like a bitch. He only slept a few hours last night because his patrol had run late, and then he’d been back here early to deal with some reports. Then everyone had showed up and started arguing about what their next move was. There was always something to do, some new move to make. Alec was usually all in for it, he’s a badass Shadowhunter. He’s always ready.

Just, right now he really needs a nap.

Alec shakes his head, to try and clear himself and zones back into Clary trying to comprehend what she’s saying. He’s watching her mouth move, it’s definitely saying something but he can’t make it out. He squeezes his eyes shut tightly for a second and opens them again.

Yep, still here.

It goes on like this for a few more moments, Simon interjects and starts arguing about how werewolf’s can’t be trusted and Magnus makes a snarky comment about Vampires which makes Simon pout.

_“Jesus Alec,”_

Suddenly the room stops and all eyes are on Jace who has interrupted the conversation loudly, he looks kind of pale and his holding his head with one hand massaging his temple. He looks pissed off.

“When was the last time you drank some goddam water?” Jace asks irritated and keeps rubbing his temple.

Ah, Alec thinks. Jace can probably feel how tired he is.

“What?” Magnus instantly turns to him concerned and Alec sends Jace a glare, “What’s wrong are you hurt?”

Magnus doesn’t really understand the Parabatai bond they share, nobody does unless they experience it themselves. It’s hard to explain to other people that they share and experience each other emotions and feelings on a level different to the normal. It’s not like they can read each other’s moods or thoughts, its far deeper and more complicated then that.

“I’m not hurt,” Alec says but it comes out weakly even to him.

Jace snorts, “Are you sure?”

Alec gives him his best death glares but Jace has been his brother long enough to know it means nothing and rolls his eyes. Alec misses the time when Jace used to be hesitant and nervous around him. Like he was afraid if he said the wrong thing he’d lash out or leave. Now he’s just a little shit who relishes far too much in Alec’s dismay.

“I’m sure,” Alec deadpans and turns to Magnus, pretending everyone else isn’t there because he really wishes they weren’t here to see this, “I’m fine, just a headache.”

“A headache?” Jace scoffs and demands, “When was the last time you slept? Or drank some water?”

Magnus is now giving him those eyes where he knows Alec has been working himself too hard, a conversation they’d had time and time again. He’s checking for injuries or signs of fatigue, calculating when the last time he saw Alec eat, sleep and drink. Alec internally sighs. He loves Magnus, but having someone care about you so deeply is so frighteningly new and scary, and over protective.

Jace and Isabelle were always different, because despite how much they begged and bargained with him he was still the big brother who could argue back. It’s harder to argue with Magnus, he hates disappointing him over something so stupid as sleep.

“Alec,” Magnus states in that disappointed tone he has down pat.

“Wait, what?” Simon interjects, “I’m confused.”

Alec rolls his eyes and refuses to answer the vampire, because Clary is also looking on intrigued and he doesn’t want them knowing his business.

“It’s the Parabatai bond,” Izzy supplies.

“Yeah I know what that is, but how does he know?” Simon gestures at Jace.

Jace shrugs, “We can just, tell sometimes. I can tell when Alec is running himself too much and not getting enough sleep, or water. And neglecting to tell someone,” He adds almost irritated.

“You’re one to talk,” Alec snaps back harshly and Jace doesn’t even flinch at the attack.

Stupid Jace.

“If you’re sick you should have said something, we can take care of this it’s fine Alec,” Clary says.

Jesus now Clary is giving her two cents on the subject and if this isn’t the exact opposite of what Alec wanted. Alec is going to murder all these people one day.

“Come on Alexander, lets get you home to bed,” Magnus says as he takes Alecs arm gently trying to pull him away from the table.

Alec pulls his arm away harshly though, he doesn’t need to be treated like some child and sent to bed, “I’m fine.” He grits out.

“Alec,” Isabelle starts but he shuts her down with a look.

After a few moments of awkward silence Jace groans heavily holding his face in his hand, “Jesus Christ, okay, everyone take a 10 minute break to regroup because my head is going to explode thanks to Alec.”

With that everyone kind of disburses quickly to get out of the firing line, leaving Jace, Alec and Magnus. Alec is glaring daggers at his Parabatai but he does feel a little bit guilty about the whole thing. Only a little bit. He probably shouldn’t have snapped at everyone either, but he probably would have done that even if he wasn’t sick.

“Alec,” Jace says but this time its softer, gentler. Like he genuinely wants Alec to get better, for the elders sake and his own.

Alec sighs in defeat and a bit of guilt for snapping at everyone, he’s never done well when it’s a bit group like that though ganging up on him. He feels trapped and out of control, he’s supposed to be the one in control, “I’m sorry.”

Jace smiles softly, reaching over to flick him on the ear affectionately and Alec bats him away, “It’s okay. Just go, get some rest. And water please. Come back in the morning, we’ve got this covered.”

The way he says it is so determined and controlled that Alec sometimes can’t believe this is the same boy he met 8 years ago who was so scared and unsure about his place in the world.

Alec nods, because he can’t lie to Jace. He can try but he knows he won’t get far, and he wants to prove to people that he isn’t a robot without a heart, and he wants to trust those around him. He does, really. It’s just hard giving it up sometimes.

“Good, because you’re giving me a headache,” Jace laughs, he reaches over and pulls Alec into a hug which Alec easily elopes his brother in, holding on tightly to the smaller boy. When the break apart Jace gives Magnus a knowing look and goes off to find Clary.

Alex turns sheepishly to Magnus and gives him his best _puppy dog I’m really sorry_ eyes.

He can tell it works instantly when Magnus narrows his own at him annoyed but with love.

“Come on Alexander, lets go home,” Is all Magnus says, grasping onto his hand and tugging him away.

He knows he hasn’t heard the last of this. Magnus will probably make him tea and breakfast tomorrow morning and they’ll have another disagreement about how much Alec works and doesn’t take care of himself. Isabelle will scold him when he comes in to the institute and look him up and down to make sure he’s okay, before punching him in the arm and telling him he’s an idiot. And Jace will bring him into a hug, checking to make sure he’s okay before letting him get to the paper work that needs to be done. Maryse might even make an appearance, checking over her boy before she deems him healthy to work.

It’s an old routine, but it works. Alec loves these people, even if he has a time saying it aloud.

Jace has got his back, and he has Jace’s. He wouldn’t change that for anything.

 


End file.
